A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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