1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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