im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
