My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
