one two three fourrrrnication!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i will never coherently bang her
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
