And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
