I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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