so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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