This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
