You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
