On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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