when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
