so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
cat food counts as protein by the way
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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