Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I will pee on everything he values.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
