She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
