you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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