1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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