im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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