I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
