I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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