it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize