Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
