Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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