I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Randomize