based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
