Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
