Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I need to wash the frat house off of me
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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