My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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