dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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