Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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