yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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