I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
