VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize