He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
