She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
