Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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