They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize