I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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