Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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