Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
