It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
