they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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