I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
