Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
