Kiss
Puke
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
