Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
