I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
