Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
