you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
