And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
