You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
