Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Congratulations! We have a period
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize