Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
