I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
