I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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