Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
