Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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