didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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