so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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