I CAN MOONWALK!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
